A Midnight Surprise

It was around midnight and I was sound asleep when all of a sudden my husband said, “Susan!  Someone’s coming down the driveway!” What?!

Clay and I live on a bluff - in the woods - with virtually no neighbors.  Unless the moon is bright, it is darker than dark with no lights in sight. Our gravel driveway is over half a mile long and during the twenty-plus years we have lived there, I think I have only seen two wandering cars venture all the way to the house before turning around. 

The vehicle slowed way down, then the headlights turned off while the car was still creeping toward the house. Once it stopped rolling, even in the darkness, we could see a shadowy figure get out - and then another.  As they began approaching the front porch, Clay grabbed a shotgun and I ran for the phone.  It had to be a home invasion.  There had been lots of stories like this on the news lately, but they were always in the city – not way out where we lived.  And they all ended poorly.  My heart was beating out of my chest as I prepared to punch in the numbers for 911. 

Clay and I waited in the darkness at the door as the two figures stepped onto the porch. When they finally reached the door, Clay suddenly flipped on the porch light, and I was shocked at what I saw.  Our intruders were two former Blue Monarch graduates, for crying out loud.  When they saw Clay’s shotgun, they both began screaming, “Stop!  Don’t shoot!  It’s us!” 

My word.  My first thought was, “Why in the world can’t you take care of anything during normal business hours?”  Turned out, Amy had violated her probation, there was a warrant for her arrest, and she had been on the run for about ten months.  The other graduate was along for moral support but needed some calming down of her own.  She was a nervous wreck.  Amy wanted me to take her to jail so she could turn herself in.  Again, why did this have to happen in the middle of the night, and why did she need me to do it?

Amy eventually confessed that she had come to me because she wanted someone to pray for her before she went back to jail.  Alright, I could do that.  We prayed together and then Clay and I took Amy to jail to get booked.  By the time we got home it was time to get up.

I spent the next few days struggling to see what we had really accomplished with Amy.  Seeing her go back to jail felt like such a failure. 

Several days after this overnight ordeal, I checked the mail and was happy to see I had a note from Amy. Turned out it was a thank you note, written in pencil – thanking me for taking her to jail, and thanking Clay for not shooting her.  I told myself, “Well, at least that girl learned how to write a thank you note.  At least there's that.”

Thank you notes are important to us at Blue Monarch.  If you have given us a gift, you have probably received one from our residents. I hear more about these thank you notes than anything else we do.  People love them!  I remember visiting a monthly donor at his office one day and much to my surprise, he had mounted every single thank you note he had ever received on a bulletin board in his office.  He cherished each and every one.

It's funny how our thank you notes are blessings in both directions. Our donors are blessed by what the notes say, and our residents are really touched that so many people out there, people they don't even know, want to give their resources to help them. Some women even get tearful when they grasp this idea for the first time.    

This thank you note process takes some learning, though.  Not only is it the very first time most of our residents have ever written a thank you note - but for some, an attitude of gratitude is also a new concept.  I remember one first-time thank you note in particular that needed some work.  It went something like this:

“Dear (So and So), I think you have such a great name!  I love weird, unusual names.  Do you like your name?  I have always wished my name was GI-Jane.  Don’t you like that name?  Love, GI-Jane.”

And then there was the woman who enjoyed using words she did not know, and often misused the ones she did know.  Sometimes she would even make up a word, use it with great confidence, and just hope no one noticed.  She wrote a donor one time thanking him for “giving her an opportunity to expose herself.”  Not exactly what she really meant – and definitely not something we would promote.  

Sometimes I think our residents’ thank you notes are a great indicator of how far they have grown emotionally and even spiritually.  Just look at this recent note from “GI-Jane”.  She is hardly the same person she was when she walked in the door almost a year ago.  And now she's proud to use her real name.

I need to level with you.  I wasn't sure I would even be able to write a blog post today because I have been a bundle of mixed emotions. We had to discharge a woman this morning and it was heartbreaking, disappointing, frustrating, and even a little infuriating. I'll be honest. I've done a little pouting today. This woman is so much better than some of the choices she makes.  One of her children was born while she lived here, so it was especially hurtful to see him leave. Blue Monarch is all that child knows. And we adore her older child, too, so we will miss them both a lot.  I found myself wondering what we had really accomplished with this woman, much like I had questioned myself about Amy. This was simply not the way I wanted things to turn out. However, God has been speaking to me in a gentle way and He has given me a good reminder that I needed in this moment. 

While digging through some old files to find the thank you note from Amy – you know, the one thanking me for taking her to jail, and thanking my husband for not shooting her, I also found this huge stack of letters Amy wrote to me while she was there.  As I pored through the pile of letters, I began to realize, each one mentioned something valuable Amy or her two boys got from Blue Monarch during their time with us.  Apparently there were many seeds planted along the way - even though I may never know how they grow and bloom one day.

It suddenly dawned on me, what was I thinking?  Amy learned much more than just how to write a thank you note.  She and her children gained a lot while they were here.  A whole lot.  

And then it hit me. I know this is also true for the woman who left this morning.  There were many seeds planted for her, and also for each of her two precious little children.  

So, instead of feeling sorry for myself that we don’t get to watch those seeds bloom for this family, I should be thanking God for the privilege and honor of planting them.  

As I sit here and ponder this thought, I can hear God gently speaking to my heart, "You see, a seed can’t grow if it isn’t first planted...and sometimes that's all I need you to do.  Trust me.  I will take it from here."  

Dear Lord, thank you for allowing us to plant the seeds that you continue to grow, and for the blessings that bloom even when we aren't watching. Thank you for this beautiful and amazing gift. Amen