"If I don't come to Blue Monarch, I'm going to die!"

We were accustomed to getting calls from women who were desperate, but this one stood out from the rest. We never have the space for all the women who apply, but this applicant was trying to solve our space problem for us. “I’ll even share a room with someone if I need to! If I don’t come to Blue Monarch, I’m going to die!” 

Her suggestion was taken to heart, and we put her in a room with another woman who didn’t have her children with her yet. They could share our largest room until that mom was reunited with her children and then we’d figure something out.

I asked a former staff member about Deanna’s custody situation with her own three children and the answer was, “It’s pretty hopeless. It’s too late to do anything about it.”

Deanna had an eighteen-year meth addiction, and a history of incarceration and poor choices that had cost her everything she owned. But worst of all, she had lost what was most precious to her: her children. Deanna still had a relationship with her 17-year-old daughter (who was beyond our age limit to live at Blue Monarch with her), but her parental rights had been terminated regarding her middle son, and she had lost custody of her youngest daughter and was not allowed any communication with her, either. Yeah, it looked pretty bad. At this point it had been over a year since she had seen her 11-year-old son, and 9-year-old daughter.

Nevertheless, there was a particular day when Deanna made the decision to soak up every single thing that she could from her Blue Monarch recovery experience. She dove in with everything she had, became a leader in the community (that is still reflected by her peers’ success), and did her recovery work with robust determination. She refused to waste time on meaningless conflict, gossip, or drama. Meanwhile her heart continued to break over the loss of her children - a situation that didn’t seem to be getting any traction whatsoever. 

Our program focuses on the reunification of moms and kids, so Deanna often watched mothers get their children back and she was surrounded by lots of reminders of what she had lost. Nevertheless, she loved on the children around her as if they were her own. And she unselfishly shared in the excitement of all the other moms who successfully got their families back together, even if she did so with tears in her eyes.

Despite the heavy weight Deanna constantly carried with her, she excelled in everything she touched. She did exceptional work in her classes yet maintained an impressive level of humility. She graduated from our program and moved into our WINGS transitional community yet saw no progress in reuniting with her children, which I can only imagine was embarrassing and disheartening.

Recognizing Deanna’s amazing skills and strong business mind, we promoted her to supervisor for our granola business, Out of the Blue. And shortly after that we began employing her as an administrative assistant for Blue Monarch, too. Then, in no time, we put her in charge of our biggest fundraising event of the year. She marched across the stage with the other residents during the cardboard testimonies carrying a sign that said, “NEEDLE JUNKIE” on one side and “ORGANIZED THIS BANQUET” on the other. The crowd roared. 

It became more and more obvious that Deanna was a genius. In fact, even with all her responsibilities at Blue Monarch she somehow got her bachelor’s degree and graduated with a 4.0 average going to night school. I often tell her, if she hadn’t gotten sidetracked with drugs, I believe she could have cured cancer.

Meanwhile there were many days when Deanna collapsed in tears and continued to grieve over the ongoing separation from her children. The overwhelming pain was tangible and even painful to watch. I am ashamed to admit our staff probably reached a point where we felt there were no options but to accept the painful reality that nothing could be done for Deanna to restore her family. But there was a day when all that changed.

Deanna marched into my office, slammed the photos of her children on my desk and said, “Their names are Maison and Makenna. I want you to see their faces because I am not giving up and I need your help!” This was a game changer for me. I realized in that moment that we never should have accepted what looked hopeless - and quite frankly, I wish I had never listened to that nonsense in the beginning. I vowed to never tolerate that kind of declaration again. With God there is always hope.

We arranged for Deanna to get help from a local attorney who was willing to take on her difficult case. A generous donor agreed to help with the legal expenses. And Deanna put on her boots and began the long, treacherous process to get what she wanted. I could see she would not stop until she did.

That process took supernatural patience and humility. It went at a snail’s pace, and Deanna made hundreds of unreasonable compromises. But after six frustrating years, Deanna and her daughter were reunited, and she eventually regained custody. She had two of her three children back - but there was another and she would not rest until she had reestablished a relationship with him, too. 

After seven long years of separation, I am happy to say Deanna was eventually reunited with her son as well. She finally had her family back together after a fight that was one of the most remarkable undertakings I have ever seen. I wish we could take credit for it, but I have to say, Deanna and God did this, and she has never hesitated to give him the glory.

In fact, from the outside looking in, I would say this entire situation took a dramatic turn when Deanna finally lifted it up to God and completely surrendered it to him. She reached a point where she was willing to accept his will, regardless of the form that might take. And God blessed her tremendously for that commitment. I think Blue Monarch simply offered her a safe place to heal, surrounded by people who loved her, while she and God worked out the details.

Deanna is now the Administration Director at Blue Monarch, and my best description is that if any one person on our staff got hit by a train, she would pick up the pieces the next day and make sure we never skipped a beat. She beautifully manages every special project I throw her way, she understands our finances inside and out, she knows every detail of our granola business, she can juggle a million balls at one time or solve any problem with a smile, she loves and hugs on every child that crosses our threshold - and she appreciates, firsthand, the loss and regret for every mother we serve. 

But it’s the words of encouragement I overhear her say from time to time that probably carry the most weight for the women we serve. “I promise you; God can do it. No matter how hopeless it looks, do not give up.” Perhaps we should all listen to her. She knows what she's talking about.

Update: In 2023, Deanna was appointed Executive Director of Blue Monarch! I am proud to share the enormous responsibility of Blue Monarch with her. And I'm delighted she does such a wonderful job of running the daily operation so I can focus on upcoming big projects and future expansion. What a testament to the success and effectiveness of our program to have a graduate  in this position!