"Holy cow."

"The good news is that they want to publish your book. But there are a few changes you need to make."

“Like what?”

 

“Well, they want you to take out all the profanity and gore, for example.”

 

“Are we talking about the same book?”

 

I was devastated. For the past year I had been working on a book, which was a collection of my blog posts through the years, and the process had been exhausting, confusing, and very frustrating. I thought we were near the finish line, and this felt like a huge punch in the stomach. 

 

The woman on the phone represented a well-known Christian publisher so this was like hearing I wasn’t Christian enough. And I didn’t remember any profanity or gore.

 

She sent me four pages of changes that needed to be made - and the profanity section was at the top. They were nice to provide some examples of where I had used profanity. The first two were “Holy cow" and "Oh my word." Seriously?

 

I jumped to the gore section. One example was when I described how a little girl made a huge puddle on the kitchen floor during lunch, still wearing her bathing suit after swim lessons. Is that really considered “gore?”  

 

For complete disclosure, there was one example where I had used “H - E - double hockey sticks” but it was an important component to the story and if changed, it would totally lose its impact.

 

In fact, as I scanned the four pages of changes they required, I began to get completely offended and even a little hurt. Not for myself - but for the women and children we serve. Watering down their experiences would not honor their journeys. They didn’t get the opportunity to dilute their trauma or abuse. 

 

I called the woman back and said, “This list is a great example of why some people don’t like Christians. In fact, I don’t think I want their name on my book.” Out of curiosity, I asked for some clarification on the profanity. She explained that my use of “Holy cow” and “Oh my word” was a substitution for something else that was unacceptable. I asked what we should say if we stump our toe, and she had no answer.  

 

I went on to explain how I felt about altering the stories and why that wasn’t an option. Surprisingly, she sympathized and gave me several examples of authors, even pastors, who felt the same. And then she added, “Well, just so you know, they don’t even allow talking animals in children’s books anymore.” I couldn’t let that one go without pointing out the talking donkey in the Bible. Geez. 

 

So, it was back to the drawing board. I felt like an entire year had been wasted and it was tempting to give up. But through nothing less than divine intervention, I found someone who published Christian books but saw no need to water down or sugar coat the material. In fact, they totally got it. I scrolled through the books they had published before and immediately felt a connection. “Yes! Those are my people.” And now that book will be released in a few weeks!

Remarkably, as it turns out, because of the delay, From My Front Row Seat will be coming out just a few days before our 20th Anniversary at Blue Monarch, so the timing is perfect. What a wonderful way to celebrate such a powerful twenty year long journey.

 

This entire process has been an emotional one. One I had planned to experience at the end of my life, not now. For the past twenty years, when anyone asked me, “Can you believe what’s happened at Blue Monarch?” I would respond with, “I try not to think about it. If I do, I may start crying and never stop. I will think about that when I get to heaven and have more time.”

 

As I have read, re-read, and edited the stories a million times, I have relived some of my most memorable experiences at Blue Monarch over and over. They have caused me to tear up when I least expected it, and they have taken my breath away even though I knew the ending. It has been such an honor to walk alongside the women and children we serve as they navigate the treacherous road to recovery and healing. And at the very least, I hope I have honored them in the way I have shared their stories.

 

Today is such a great example of my Blue Monarch life. This morning one of our moms regained custody of her three children. It has been an uphill battle since the beginning, and there were days her fight to restore her family took the support of our entire team. It’s been a tough one. There were players involved who were unscrupulously trying to terminate her parental rights and permanently sever her relationship with them. I shudder to think of what might have happened if she had not been surrounded by strong folks to help navigate that clunky process with her. And I can’t help but think of the moms out there who may not have the support they need and needlessly lose their children forever.

 

But I want to share another Blue Monarch miracle story with you before I close. It’s one of my favorites and will be the last one I share before we turn 20 on April 15!

 

I have struggled to find a way to describe this because of the nature of the details, but I think I have figured out a way to do so. (I doubt the first publisher would approve, but that only makes it more fun to tell now. It’s not about a talking animal, but a talking dollhouse sink instead.)

Let’s say “Alyssa” was not an adorable little girl, but a dollhouse sink named, “Alice.” Alice came to Blue Monarch with her mom and siblings having suffered from neglect and suspected sexual abuse at her young age. Her family was complicated. Each one of them had severe, equally traumatic issues of their own, but as a group they hung together in their mess.

 

One of the first things we discovered was that Alice was having problems with her faucet. Her plumbing was too small, which meant lots of unpleasant visits over months and months to doctors and specialists to figure out a solution. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. Needless to say, its’ no dollhouse sink’s dream to go through that.

 

Once Alice’s faucet got to working properly, she had another problem. This time with her garbage disposal. Lots of food would go down the drain but for weeks it would just get clogged in the pipes. This resulted in even more trips to doctors and specialists, yet again, no fun for a cute little dollhouse sink.

 

Finally, the clogged pipes sent Alice to the hospital. The problem had become so severe it required days in the hospital with strategic treatments of all kinds. As with any clogged sink, there are numerous approaches that increase in intensity and unpleasantness. It was no fun for Alice or her mom, who became more frantic and frightened with every day. Alice remained very brave for a young little sink, and I have a colorful birdhouse she made for me while sitting in the hospital for so many days.

 

None of the methods to unclog Alice’s pipes worked, much to the dismay of the doctors and nurses. After several days went by with no results, there was talk of surgery, which seemed to be the last resort. Oh, no. 

 

At this point it seemed there was no justice for Alice, the sweet little dollhouse sink. She didn’t deserve this. How much could a little sink take? She had been through more than many adult sinks experience in an entire lifetime. 

 

After several days with loads of prayers but no luck whatsoever, another test was done to examine the clogged pipes in preparation for possible surgery. Shortly after, however, Alice’s mother was notified they were being discharged and sent home as if the hospital was simply giving up. 

 

Alice’s mom was hysterical. “I’m not taking her home until this problem gets resolved!” Even the nurse advised her to stand her ground and refuse to be discharged until there was a plan to solve the problem. After all, what could potentially happen if she went home with no resolution to the clogged pipes?

 

Finally, the doctor came in to speak to Alice and her mom. He showed them the x-ray from that morning. “We have no way to understand or explain this, but the clog is completely gone. See, it’s no longer there.” 

 

“But where did it go?”

 

“We don’t have an answer for that.” 

 

Well, we do. It’s another Blue Monarch miracle and a great example of how God is in the details - even Alice’s clogged pipes, which have been working fine ever since. And this little sink and her mom learned the power of prayer in a way they will never forget. 

 

All I can say is, “Holy cow...oh my word...and thank you, Jesus.” Yep, it’s been a great twenty years, and it's an honor to share them from my front row seat.

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." Mark 10:27 NIV

From My Front Row Seat is available on our online store and also Amazon, where E-book and Audiobook (in author's voice) are available.