"Quite frankly, I didn't think I was that big of a deal."

As soon as the young man walked into my bakery, a whiff of the fog surrounding him took me right back to the 70’s.  He was wearing a worn out t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off at the shoulders, and when he turned around, the back of his shirt displayed an upside-down American flag that had big x’s marked across it with a broad tipped black marker.  I assumed he was there to place an order at the counter.

Much to my surprise, when I returned to the dining room, someone had given him a job application.  Okay, so this will be interesting.  Now I owe the guy an interview.

When the young man completed his application, I sat down to discuss it with him.  He started with a question.  “Do I have to give you my real social security number?”  (Who prefers the fake one?)

I studied his answers and work history.  The first thing that jumped off the page was that he had been dishonorably discharged from the Army.  Had to appreciate the honesty, but naturally I was curious.

“So, why were you dishonorably discharged?”  

“Well, when it started out, I was just pretending to be crazy.  But by the time it was all over, I really WAS crazy.”  A real-life Klinger.

Somehow, I just couldn’t walk away.  “Well, I see that you were an electrician’s mate.  Did you like that kind of work?”

“Oh yeah!  I LOVED it!”

“So, I’m curious.  Why aren’t you looking for an electrical job, working with an electrician?”

He leaned over the table and motioned for me to come closer because he had something private to tell me. The aroma of the 70’s was even stronger now and I couldn’t imagine what his secret might be.  

Then he whispered, “It’s because I don’t BE-LIEVE in electricity.”  He cocked his head and slowly nodded at me, as if he was sure we shared the same radical idea. 

“Well, I hate to tell you, we use a whole lot of it here.  You would be miserable.”

The other day I was thinking back on how many people I had interviewed and employed in my lifetime.  I believe, including my horse farm and boarding operation, my vacation rentals, my bakery/café, Out of the Blue Granola, and Blue Monarch, it’s been hundreds of people.  So, I feel like I have seen and heard it all.  But it was because of one particular Blue Monarch woman that I developed an intensive, 9-week Work Ethics Course that I have been teaching our residents since 2007.

My bakery/café, The Blue Chair in Sewanee, opened in 2000, and Blue Monarch began three years later.  For nine very difficult years I operated both, which was not a good idea.  Needless to say, the fires always burned hotter at Blue Monarch, so my business often suffered.  Thankfully, I sold The Blue Chair in 2012 to a man I will always hold dear, so I am no longer responsible for the amount of onion in the chicken salad, or the fact the business has also become a tavern.  Before selling it, I often used The Blue Chair as a place to employ our Blue Monarch residents, until we later developed onsite employment through Out of the Blue Granola.

Back in 2007, Brandi was a Blue Monarch resident who had become the Saturday morning baker at my business.  It was a pretty important job because this was our biggest day of the week.  On this particular morning, Brandi did not show up for work, which created an enormous crisis for us.  I called to see what happened to her.  She very nonchalantly said, “I had problems with childcare...and quite frankly, I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

“Well, it IS a big deal, you have lost your job, and we will talk about it on Monday.”  In that moment I realized we had a huge issue concerning good work ethics and we needed to solve it – not just for Brandi, but for every other Blue Monarch resident as well.

At that point, I basically developed our Work Ethics Course from all my own bad experiences employing the population we serve.  When I sat down to crunch some numbers and see what Brandi’s negligence had cost The Blue Chair that morning, I began to look at other events involving the women from Blue Monarch, and I soon realized my business had suffered a five-figure loss over the past year because of their poor performance.  

Despite its nasty beginning, teaching Work Ethics has ended up being one of the favorite parts of my job.  A resident does not take my class until she is close to graduating from our one-to-two-year core program.  By this time, she has other intense recovery, healing, and growth behind her, and now she can focus on her future and a job.

This rich course has proven to be very effective in developing successful, conscientious employees.  Like Brandi, we first take an honest look at past work performance and the impact it had on former employers and businesses.  We actually assign a dollar figure to any damage and this often results in tears when they realize the negative impact they had on the places they worked, which is important to understand.  I remember the moment when one particular woman discovered she was the very reason the company went out of business.  She was devastated to learn what she had done to them.  This exercise includes writing a letter of apology, and some are actually mailed because they sincerely want to make amends.  

Then we walk in the shoes of the employer for a while to develop some empathy and see that the boss is not always the bad guy.  (Why is that so often the case? I’ve never understood this.)  Then, we begin to explore unique gifts and strengths.  I love this particular class because we don’t leave until we have a list of 20 strengths for each person.  With every strength we recognize, the smiles on their faces get bigger and bigger.  We continue to explore interests and narrow down realistic possibilities that can become an exciting job or career, not just a paycheck.  Finally, we prepare to do our best in order to obtain that job and keep it.

Back when I did jail interviews myself, I would always ask this question.  “What are your dreams for the future?”  Each answer was the same and came with a blank stare.  “I’ve never thought about it.”

I finally realized, when one has focused most of her life on sheer survival, where is there a place for dreaming about a career or future?  Nevertheless, I continued to ask the question anyway.  I was always hopeful it would plant a seed and cause someone to begin thinking about it.

In my class, however, I get the amazing opportunity to see the light come on for the very first time. The moment when a woman actually begins to truly believe in her heart that she is valuable, that she is capable, and that she can realistically have the job or career that only seemed possible for others.  “Wow.  Maybe I really can do that...”  

Sometimes women in my class have never envisioned anything other than drawing disability benefits, simply because that is what everyone in the family does.  “Hmm...so I don’t have to do that?  Really?” 

I have often wondered if my office literally lights up and hosts of angels begin singing in this powerful moment when they get a glimpse of an exciting future for the first time.  Some women cry, some struggle to hold back a grin that feels out of control, and some sit in a sort of reverent, stunned silence as they gradually process what could potentially happen.  It is powerful.  It is tangible.  You can almost see the ground shaking as they begin to see themselves in a totally new light.  It is overwhelmingly gratifying and gives me chills every single time.  Man, I love it!

For instance, I will never forget the moment Lauren realized she could become a pilot – and she can fly a plane now, all by herself.

Or the day Angela realized she wanted to be a dental assistant, and I will get to see her receive her certificate next month.

But this course has taught me more than anyone else.  All those years when I hit bumps in the road because of the things Blue Monarch women did (or didn’t do) on the job, I always attributed them to being lazy or inconsiderate.  Otherwise, how do you explain an attitude of “quite frankly, I didn’t think it was that big of a deal”?  

What I have learned, however, is this:  when she feels she has absolutely no value, she cannot imagine how her absence makes a difference. If I have nothing to contribute, how can it possibly matter if I am not there?  After all, who would give me something important to do? What she's really saying is, "Quite frankly, I didn't think I was that big of a deal."

As a child, my father told me over and over, “You can do anything you put your mind to.”  In fact, he had me convinced I could be president one day.  I think I was an adult before I realized that probably wasn't going to happen.  I believed him simply because he said it.

Many of the women we serve have also believed things they have been told. Such as, you are stupid, worthless, and ugly - and will never amount to anything.  Can you imagine looking at your future and seeing nothing but a dark, blank wall?

God has given me the amazing privilege to look a woman in the eyes and tell her, “I believe in you. You can do anything you put your mind to.”  And if it works like it’s supposed to, she will gradually believe what I have said...the room will begin filling up with a bright light that only I can see...and best of all - her children might get to hear those same words before the day is out. Yeah, I love my job.

In fact, my class starts in two minutes and I need to greet some amazing women at the door with a handshake.  Who knows...if I'm lucky, I may get to see some bright lights today!

Lord, please help us to show each woman we serve, the bright and amazing future you have in store for her.  Help us to instill a sense of hope in every child, and to teach our moms to always lift them up.  Amen