There have been times when I have gone through an emotional rough patch and have prayed that I could please wake up as a bird. Was that too much to ask? I just wanted to quietly soar in the clouds with no problems in sight. In fact, this is the first item on my list of things to do when I get to heaven one day.
I love the sky so much, I have flown in almost every contraption there is: ultralight airplane, seaplane, glider, parasail, 1940’s open cockpit airplane, and an almost 2-mile zipline at over 11,000 feet elevation, which isn’t a plane but went so fast it felt like flying. I am fascinated by clouds, and this has been my screensaver for years. This photo is from my window seat on the way to visit some nice donors in Texas one year.
Several years ago, Clay and I stopped to watch some skydivers near our home because it was something I had always wanted to do. As I stood and gazed at the jumpers, a young woman asked, “are you thinking about jumping?” Was she talking to me? I looked around because I was surprised that she could actually see me. I was keenly aware that I had become strangely invisible to some individuals her age.
"Well, to tell you the truth, I have always wanted to skydive," I told her. "So, I wanted to watch for a while to see if I could do it."
And here it came. The girl leaned closer to me, as if I couldn’t hear, cocked her head in a way that she probably thought was endearing, and in her best baby voice, said, “Well, it’s never too late...” I think she even patted me on the shoulder.
I looked at Clay and said, “never too late? What did she mean by that?” And then it hit me what she meant. Oh, my word. I was steaming, and if I had been wearing different shoes, I think I would have marched into the hangar right that moment and signed up.
Honestly, getting older has been a little clunky. I never believed it would happen to me, although I'm not sure how I thought I would avoid it. I have reluctantly had to make some rules for myself such as, no fringe, (okay, well maybe less fringe), no dancing in my car, and no more clothes from stores that include the words, “twenty-one” or “wet”. It’s been a difficult transition because in my head, I’m still thirty-five and skinny.
As I stood there a little wounded, processing what had just happened, I listened while the young woman chatted with her boyfriend. He was concerned they might not get their turn before it was too dark. That’s when she pointed to the sky and said, “but it won’t matter if it gets dark down here - because it’s always lighter up there!”
Okay, that made her comment sting a little less. Obviously, she was an idiot.
It did cause me to ask myself, why was I not skydiving when it was such a dream of mine? I finally realized it was something Clay always said to me whenever I entertained the idea. “Susan, have you thought about what would happen to Blue Monarch if something happened to you?” Suddenly the whole idea looked very irresponsible, because honestly, I wasn’t sure how to answer that question.
Well, a few weeks ago I looked around me and realized this was no longer a concern. We have the most amazing, gifted team we have ever had, each staff member a rock star in her own right. Blue Monarch has never been in better hands, which makes my job more exciting than ever before. My dream could finally come true. (You know you’re confident in your staff if you’re willing to jump out of a plane.)
So recently, I had the enormous privilege of skydiving with Lauren, our former Blue Monarch graduate and current staff member who has just gotten her license as a pilot! I remember walking through the kitchen right before one of my work ethics classes a few years ago, and Lauren saying with great distress, “Miss Susan, I just don’t know what I want to do with my life...” This class is where we identify a career path right before graduation, which can be daunting with past criminal history and unexplainable gaps in employment. Honestly, I was a little concerned that Lauren might fall back into addiction if we didn’t find something to keep her excited and motivated. That’s when it hit me. Just a few days before was when I stood on the sidelines watching the skydivers with the young lady who made the stupid comments. “Lauren, what about the field of aviation?”
She immediately latched onto that idea, which quickly led to a Blue Monarch miracle of sorts. I invited Jim, a pilot friend and donor, to meet with her to discuss all aspects of aviation. It was in that meeting Lauren decided to become a pilot and Jim amazingly offered to help her get her license and loan her his own plane to do it. Jim even had a friend by the name of "Grumpy," with 32 years in the Air Force under his belt and an endless list of awards, who agreed to be her instructor. It was unbelievable.
This path has been anything but easy. Lauren has stretched herself beyond limits she even knew she had, and she has jumped through a million hoops to prove to the FAA that she is no longer an addict and can handle the responsibility and pressure of flying. No doubt, many weaker individuals would have quickly folded.
It has been one of the hardest journeys I have ever witnessed, but Lauren has persevered through many tears, endless study, countless surprise drug tests, ridiculous delays, multiple medical evaluations, and lots of sleepless nights. However, every single time she has flown solo, she has praised the Lord and worshipped across the sky, giving him all the glory.
I love the sky so much, I have flown in almost every contraption there is: ultralight airplane, seaplane, glider, parasail, 1940’s open cockpit airplane, and an almost 2-mile zipline at over 11,000 feet elevation, which isn’t a plane but went so fast it felt like flying. I am fascinated by clouds, and this has been my screensaver for years. This photo is from my window seat on the way to visit some nice donors in Texas one year.
Several years ago, Clay and I stopped to watch some skydivers near our home because it was something I had always wanted to do. As I stood and gazed at the jumpers, a young woman asked, “are you thinking about jumping?” Was she talking to me? I looked around because I was surprised that she could actually see me. I was keenly aware that I had become strangely invisible to some individuals her age.
"Well, to tell you the truth, I have always wanted to skydive," I told her. "So, I wanted to watch for a while to see if I could do it."
And here it came. The girl leaned closer to me, as if I couldn’t hear, cocked her head in a way that she probably thought was endearing, and in her best baby voice, said, “Well, it’s never too late...” I think she even patted me on the shoulder.
I looked at Clay and said, “never too late? What did she mean by that?” And then it hit me what she meant. Oh, my word. I was steaming, and if I had been wearing different shoes, I think I would have marched into the hangar right that moment and signed up.
Honestly, getting older has been a little clunky. I never believed it would happen to me, although I'm not sure how I thought I would avoid it. I have reluctantly had to make some rules for myself such as, no fringe, (okay, well maybe less fringe), no dancing in my car, and no more clothes from stores that include the words, “twenty-one” or “wet”. It’s been a difficult transition because in my head, I’m still thirty-five and skinny.
As I stood there a little wounded, processing what had just happened, I listened while the young woman chatted with her boyfriend. He was concerned they might not get their turn before it was too dark. That’s when she pointed to the sky and said, “but it won’t matter if it gets dark down here - because it’s always lighter up there!”
Okay, that made her comment sting a little less. Obviously, she was an idiot.
It did cause me to ask myself, why was I not skydiving when it was such a dream of mine? I finally realized it was something Clay always said to me whenever I entertained the idea. “Susan, have you thought about what would happen to Blue Monarch if something happened to you?” Suddenly the whole idea looked very irresponsible, because honestly, I wasn’t sure how to answer that question.
Well, a few weeks ago I looked around me and realized this was no longer a concern. We have the most amazing, gifted team we have ever had, each staff member a rock star in her own right. Blue Monarch has never been in better hands, which makes my job more exciting than ever before. My dream could finally come true. (You know you’re confident in your staff if you’re willing to jump out of a plane.)
She immediately latched onto that idea, which quickly led to a Blue Monarch miracle of sorts. I invited Jim, a pilot friend and donor, to meet with her to discuss all aspects of aviation. It was in that meeting Lauren decided to become a pilot and Jim amazingly offered to help her get her license and loan her his own plane to do it. Jim even had a friend by the name of "Grumpy," with 32 years in the Air Force under his belt and an endless list of awards, who agreed to be her instructor. It was unbelievable.
This path has been anything but easy. Lauren has stretched herself beyond limits she even knew she had, and she has jumped through a million hoops to prove to the FAA that she is no longer an addict and can handle the responsibility and pressure of flying. No doubt, many weaker individuals would have quickly folded.
It has been one of the hardest journeys I have ever witnessed, but Lauren has persevered through many tears, endless study, countless surprise drug tests, ridiculous delays, multiple medical evaluations, and lots of sleepless nights. However, every single time she has flown solo, she has praised the Lord and worshipped across the sky, giving him all the glory.
One of the greatest thrills of my life has been to see Lauren fly over the Blue Monarch campus. It makes my heart skip a beat every single time and it’s so fun to see all the women and children run outside to cheer her on. Sam, our dog, goes nuts because he thinks he owns even the airspace over our property. Every one of those women walk back into the house believing in themselves a little more and I’m convinced even the children begin to dream bigger in that moment. The impact is tangible and shows on their faces.
So, a few weeks ago I got to jump out of a plane at 1,400 feet, dropping at 120 miles per hour, with someone whose incredible journey I have watched from a front row seat, which felt very symbolic. It was truly a dream come true and an intense thrill that I have relived in my head a hundred times.
I didn’t think anything could compare to that thrill, but yesterday did. Lauren finally got her pilot’s license after nearly a three-year struggle and yesterday I was honored to be her very first passenger. It was almost an out-of-body experience as the two of us flew over the Blue Monarch property and I was able to see the women and children run outside and wave at us - from Lauren’s perspective this time.
Lauren’s story will be a Blue Monarch legend. I see every day the impact her determination has on the women of Blue Monarch - it gives them hope and teaches them to not give up, that their hard work and perseverance will eventually pay off! They absorb it and take it to heart.
As I watched Lauren so confidently maneuver the plane, manage all the many instruments and gears, communicate by radio in a cryptic language only pilots understand, and gaze across the sky as if she owned it, I couldn’t help but think back on the woman who sat in my office and wept with overwhelming brokenness, and absolutely no hope, just a few years ago. My word, look at her now. She is not just a fighter. She is a warrior inspiring other warriors just like her.
I realize now, the young woman I met at the airstrip that day was no idiot after all. It IS never too late. And it truly IS lighter up there - even if it’s dark down here. Maybe it’s because the magnificent sky feels just inches away from heaven. In fact, I think if we had thought about it sooner, Lauren and I could have touched the face of God while we were there. We’ll have to remember to do that next time...
Lord, thank you for a place where women and children can dream big, believe deeply, and achieve intensely. And thank you for my front row seat for which I am so grateful. Amen
So, a few weeks ago I got to jump out of a plane at 1,400 feet, dropping at 120 miles per hour, with someone whose incredible journey I have watched from a front row seat, which felt very symbolic. It was truly a dream come true and an intense thrill that I have relived in my head a hundred times.
I didn’t think anything could compare to that thrill, but yesterday did. Lauren finally got her pilot’s license after nearly a three-year struggle and yesterday I was honored to be her very first passenger. It was almost an out-of-body experience as the two of us flew over the Blue Monarch property and I was able to see the women and children run outside and wave at us - from Lauren’s perspective this time.
Lauren’s story will be a Blue Monarch legend. I see every day the impact her determination has on the women of Blue Monarch - it gives them hope and teaches them to not give up, that their hard work and perseverance will eventually pay off! They absorb it and take it to heart.
As I watched Lauren so confidently maneuver the plane, manage all the many instruments and gears, communicate by radio in a cryptic language only pilots understand, and gaze across the sky as if she owned it, I couldn’t help but think back on the woman who sat in my office and wept with overwhelming brokenness, and absolutely no hope, just a few years ago. My word, look at her now. She is not just a fighter. She is a warrior inspiring other warriors just like her.
I realize now, the young woman I met at the airstrip that day was no idiot after all. It IS never too late. And it truly IS lighter up there - even if it’s dark down here. Maybe it’s because the magnificent sky feels just inches away from heaven. In fact, I think if we had thought about it sooner, Lauren and I could have touched the face of God while we were there. We’ll have to remember to do that next time...
Lord, thank you for a place where women and children can dream big, believe deeply, and achieve intensely. And thank you for my front row seat for which I am so grateful. Amen
